By Renessa Rios
Okay I know we have all gone on bad dates and many of us have the best stories of everything going wrong on a first date. From where the date was planned, to what the topics of conversation were, to especially how awkward it was at the end to finish the date.
So how do we make sure that the next woman or man that we meet, we have a perfect date?
Well first get the word perfect out of our vocabulary, as none us are perfect or we would have found love the perfect way a long time ago. There is not a perfect way to love. I have interviewed thousands of singles and couples and each one had a unique story of how they found love and it was not based on what we all think is perfect.
Perfection makes people feel they have to live up to an expectation of judgment if they were to love you or want to see you happy.
Instead of using the word “perfect” lets use the word “engaging”. Dating can be fun but we can walk away not feeling as if we fully engaged authentically with our date.
Since you are reading this and you are single, then when you meet someone you are attracted to on the outside, it is important to engage with who they are on the inside.
I have met a lot of attractive people on the outside and when they open their mouth, they are negative, judgmental and not a really nice person.
So when planning an engaging date you want to follow these steps.
1. Ambiance is very important. Ambiance is lighting and having comfortable seating to feel comfortable to engage. It is hard to engage in a coffee shop where everyone is watching you on hard wooden chairs as if you in an interview. A activity such as walk at Green Lake with hot coco’s or a Argosy Boat Cruise to watch the sunset or a nice restaurant with the piano playing in the background. This will allow everyone to relax and create an authentic conversation to truly engage.
2. Topics of conversation need to be positive and truly represent your core qualities of who you are. This is where a lot of singles are struggling because they can create great ambiance but when it comes to the conversation they are saying all of the wrong things. Start with why you enjoy your career… if you don’t enjoy your job and you choose to use this date as a therapy session, please do not expect a second date. Share what is important to you such as family time or giving back to our community. People are attracted to your heart and if you share what is in your heart you will be more transparent and therefore creating authentic engaging conversations.
3. Chemistry can be created with anyone. Lust is completely different than love and having a date where you do not feel immediate chemistry is okay, especially if there were not any red flags in the conversation. Sometimes our chemistry meter can feel distant if this is not the same type of person we have dated in the past. Especially if our ex that we were madly in love with and had great chemistry with was not a good match for us. We can not trust our chemistry meter but instead look for someone who matches our heart.
Friendships are always the best way to test these three engaging steps. Ladies love to have wine nights practicing these three steps. Men love to cater to a woman they feel attracted to. Start by using these steps and see your dates go from imperfect to engaging and turning into true love.
Now it is time to go meet new singles to start dating! Visit our Singles Event Calendar and Start meeting fun new singles every week
May You Find Love And Happiness In Everything You Do,