How To Hold Conversation With A Man!

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Hello beautiful people!

I came across an….interesting… article this morning on “How to Talk to a Guy” written by Carlos Cavallo.

While much of it was controversial and does not all flow with my direct opinion on the matter, I still found it to provide a valuable point of view on the topic and I agree with many of the main points, especially when he starts in on the 3 ways to talk to men. Here they are, quote on quote:

“#1 – Get him to talk about the Greatest Thing In The World!

Oh, you know what that Greatest Thing is, right?

It’s HIM!

Well, it’s not like he’s a guy that’s narcissistic and self-centered. Most guys you meet really aren’t, by the way.

You see, many of the dating advisors and self-help gurus out there would have you believe that every little thing you find bothersome about a man is A) worth paying attention to, B) completely his problem.

The reality is that he’s going to fall back on talking about the one thing he understands best: His own viewpoint.

So he might sound like he’s just talking about himself, but he’s really just hoping you’ll be able to listen to him in a way that his other dude friends simply can’t.

And men often fall back on talking about himself if he runs out of questions to ask you. Sometimes it’s just a space-filling strategy that gives him time to relax and ease back into asking you more questions.

But the point is that most men do this automatically in conversations with other guys. It doesn’t mean he’s a self-centered idiot.

Men are just used to talking about his experience of the world – and it’s usually FACT-based.

Meaning, that he’s just used to communicating in hard details, not soft emotions.

This is why sports stuff is so easy for most guys to discuss. It’s just memorized numbers.

The next tip for how to talk to a guy is…

#2 – Put away the “strong, independent woman” card for a while…

Yes, I know that’s going to make a lot of women flinch.

Especially if your mom was one of the women who grew up in the surge of feminist politics in the 1970s and onward.

But here’s the deal: A guy wants a woman who has a reason to want HIM.

Think about it from your perspective for a second: Do YOU want a guy that doesn’t need you in some way?

Whether that’s for nurturing, sex, and all those other wonderful parts of being in a relationship – why would you be with a guy if there wasn’t something there he could provide for you?

And yet time and time again, a guy will go out on a date only to discover that:

– She can get the door herself, thank you very much…

– She can pull her own chair out from the table – thanks anyways…

– Oh no I don’t need you to walk me back to my car…

– That’s fine, I can do this/that/anything all by myself

In countless little ways, women undermine a man’s attraction simply by being too quick to cut him out of the equation of you + him.

Yeah, we get it… You’re not dumb, you’re not incapable, you’re not a stereotype from the 1930s.

You can handle yourself.

Hey, you may have even taken a little kickboxing and can kick a little ass.

But if there’s one thing I can tell you for sure, it’s that men don’t want women who don’t have some NEED for them in their life.

We men have to be handy. We have to be of use to you. We need to PROVIDE.

Or we just don’t feel like men.

And guess what?

We won’t stay with a woman who doesn’t help us feel more like a man than we would without her.

Think about that… and think about this: What do you really want a man to do for you?

Then, let him do that.

#3 – Use a thought-provoking question to create instant chemistry…

When all is said and done, a man will feel more connected and attracted to you if he feels like he’s heard and understood.

At the risk of sounding like a country-western lyric, let me repeat that for you:

When the date is over, a man will feel far more connected and attracted to you if he feels like you heard him and understood him.

One of the most common complaints men have these days is that when they talk to a woman, it doesn’t feel like she’s really listening to him. It feels more like she’s waiting for her turn to talk.

OUCH…

One guy I coached, Trevor, told me that at least half the dates he’d been on for the last several months had felt like the girl he was with wasn’t really listening to him.

She was just kind of blankly firing off questions in an attempt to engage him.

“I didn’t feel like she was listening as much as she was checking off boxes on some list in her brain,” he said.

That’s obviously not a feeling you want to leave with a guy.

So take it from me that the most important thing you can talk about with a guy isn’t really you talking at all. It’s “giving him ear.”

The kind of sincere, I-get-you, kind of listening that makes a man realize you’re different.

This is the single most powerful thing to get a guy to feel an uncontrollable pull toward you… and attraction he can’t resist. Like a magnet buried deep in him that has found it’s target.

His desire will draw him to you and he’ll feel compelled to give you his undivided attention

He’ll notice you – deep inside… and he will resonate with the passionthat stirs him right to his soul.”

 

Ladies! How did this viewpoint make you feel?

Men!! I am interested to know…. do you agree with these three points? How would you feel if a woman did any of these three things?

-Renessa Rios

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